Posts Tagged ‘Mindfulness’

Dr. Martin Seligman founder of the positive psychology movement described the 3 p’s of pessimistic behaviour

Personalize “It’s my fault”
We blame ourselves for the events that occurred and are angry for not having known or for taking action sooner.
Not taking failures personally allows us to recover and move on.

Pervasive “My whole life is a disaster”
Assuming that since this ONE horrible event/incident has occurred, everything is awful in their lives
Whether it’s personal or business related, they catastrophize that their happiness is gone and will never return.

Permanence “I will never feel joyful again”
Individuals believe that the way they feel now… shattered and broken… is the way they will feel forever. Evidence suggests that we do recover and often thrive in the face of adversity.


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Habits can be contagious. The people around you matter. And you matter to the people around you. Research shows that we are affected by the body composition, habits, and lifestyles of those around us. The more people around us are doing something, or living a certain way, the more likely we are to do and live the same — whether that’s what we eat, how we eat, whether we move (or not), how we move, and so on.

If your friends and family are fitter and healthier, you’re more likely to be fitter and healthier. And the reverse is true, too.

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Success is seldom a straight road; it almost always involves many detours and dead ends. It takes tenacity and determination to keep going, but those that do will eventually reach their destination.

Most of us have heard before that Thomas Edison failed more than 1,000 times but continued on despite being ridiculed by the media and those around him. And plenty more people refuse to quit long after most would have given up. What is it about these people that makes them different?

There are a number of attributes that consistently stand out amongst those who tenaciously follow their own path in life. Here are seven things highly resilient things have in common:

People who are able to develop a strong sense of who they are and what matters to them are much better able to resist external influences that will keep many people from reaching their potential. They are able to draw strength from within and are therefore less likely to be influenced by what others think of them. This strong inner strength helps them deflect criticism, alienation, ridicule and other factors that everyone who forges their own path inevitably faces.

When things don’t go according to plan, resilient people look for the learning in the situation and the lesson they can take away. They don’t view failure as final, rather a necessary learning step that will take them further along the path. Instead of taking setbacks personally, they are seen as an inevitable part of the learning process and mentally prepare themselves to deal with them. Resilient people do not lose the lesson.

Resilient people are prepared for the long haul, fully realizing that anything worth achieving will be difficult and will take a great deal of time, effort and persistence. Despite not seeing any immediate results of their efforts, they are keenly aware that what their lives will look like in the future will be determined by their efforts today. Their strong sense of the future motivates them to take action even when they see no immediate benefit and don’t feel very motivated in the moment.


Whether it is a belief in a higher power, a strong sense of purpose, or a great sense of humor, resilient people have sources of strength they can rely on to get them through difficult situations. This decreases their sense to belong and rely upon others for motivation. They see their lives beyond the everyday routine and strongly feel the need to follow their own vision. Their motivation is intrinsic.


Most people believe that not knowing how to do something and not being able to, are one and the same thing. Highly resilient people don’t let not knowing how to do something stop them. They believe that they will find a way. They have faith in their ability to overcome whatever obstacles are in their path. Expecting to find new situations uncomfortable and difficult, they are willing to accept this as part of the process.

Highly resilient people don’t suffer fools. It’s not that they never look to others for guidance and direction, it’s that they are very selective in who they chose to follow. They look for mentorship in people who have achieved greatly and whom they admire. Once they have found the people they chose to follow, they soak up all the information, guidance and inspiration they can by reading their books and listening to their spoken messages for insight.

Resilient people are no less susceptible to pressures and life’s stressors than anyone else, but they have developed healthy coping mechanisms they know can be counted on. Whether it is meditation, exercise or an all-encompassing hobby, they have proven methods that allow them to recharge their energy and get back into pursuing their passion. Personal growth and development for them is not a passing interest or flavor of the month, it is a way of life.


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A Quote by a Cherokee Indian

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said, “My son, the battle is between 2 “wolves” inside us all.

One is Evil.
It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other is Good.
It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

Cherokee Indian

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For 30 Days try this ‘breathing minutes’ exercise 10 or more times a day. For a minute at a time, practise diaphragmatic breathing whenever you are waiting for something. Remember, you don’t need to be standing or lying down.

You can do this whenever:

  • You are stopped at a stoplight
  • You are on hold on the phone
  • You are waiting in line at a store
  • You are watching the commercials during a television show
  • You are waiting for the microwave to heat some food
  • You are waiting for a friend at work or school
  • You are waiting for the computer to boot
  • You are waiting for the teacher to hand out the test papers
  • You are waiting for an instant message or a phone or text message
  • You are waiting for a meeting to start

While this suggestion requires you to be mindful, the results are worth it.

You will feel calmer, and less stressed throughout the day.

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Author Tom Rath who wrote, “Eat Move Sleep,” firmly states that “one of the biggest impediments to sleep is what you do in the hour before you go to bed.”

I agree. Checking emails, racing around trying to get everything finished, watching violent or disturbing television shows is not the relaxing, decompressing message you want to send to your nervous system. At the very least, practicing slow diaphragmatic breathing will switch you from sympathetic ‘fight or flight’ into parasympathetic ‘rest and digest’ nervous system. You will then signal your body that you are slowing down preparing for your sleep journey.

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It’s surprising how difficult it is, to just be kind to one another. Why do we need techniques to help us be ‘HUMAN’ beings? Yet, the 5 minute favour, by Adam Rifkin co-founder of PandaWhale, is a great altruistic way to begin a New Year.

Try It: The Five-Minute Favour

It’s about as simple as the name itself. The only rule is that it must be something you do to benefit another, with no direct personal gain/quid pro quo attached. Here are a few to try (and I’m sure you can think of many others).

Make a connection. This is one of my favourites because in a sliver of time you can create some amazing opportunities for people. (This is Rifkin’s go-to favor.) Whom do you know who would benefit from meeting someone else? Whether it’s a colleague looking for the insight that a former colleague of yours likely has, or someone new to her field who would be thrilled to connect with a more seasoned pro in that same field, whom you happen to know. Think of one intro you can make today that could open up a world of possibility.

Pitch in. See a co-worker struggling under an impossible project? Offer to pick up a piece of it, whether it’s some follow-up calls or follow through on logistics. Since it’s not your project, you won’t be buried alive — and any little help you offer will likely be easy for you to do, and mean a lot to him. He won’t ever forget it.

Go out of your way. It’s easy to leave some tasks up to other people, because you’re technically not getting paid to do it. But when you go to extra lengths to make sure that, say, the right resources get into the right hands, you’re making someone’s life a little easier and they know it.

Serve as a reference. It’s not hard at all to back a colleague or former employee for a new job or opportunity, especially when you believe in them. If someone asks you, say yes, or even better, reach out to a friend or contact who’s looking for work and offer to serve as a reference when the time comes.

Give some feedback. Maybe a former co-worker could use an extra set of eyeballs on her resume, or a fellow entrepreneur would love some basic feedback on her new website. You don’t have to spend a lot of time to give incisive, helpful advice. Spend just a few minutes and you’ll give that person a wealth of information to work with, and possibly change the course of her business — and her life.

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